In Making Marriage Work, Divorce Court judge Lynn Toler shares her experience from the bench--and from her 22-year marriage--in a series of rules designed to help couples avoid ever reaching her television courtroom.
In the introduction, Toler explores why the divorce rate in the U.S. continues to rise: are couples unwilling to put forth the effort to create a strong marriage or is the secularization of marriage to blame? Is love too fickle an emotion to base a serious commitment like marriage upon? Or has the institution simply become obsolete? "Once an institution of obligation, [marriage] is now one of choice," she writes. Rather than looking to old solutions, then, we need a new approach--hence her rules.
Toler believes that marriage is still a viable institution since humans are social creatures and can thrive in a committed relationship--if they are prepared to be practical both before and during marriage. Her sense of humor is a welcome companion to her practicality; for example, her take on Divorce Court: "Yes, I know the show is a bit extreme, voyeuristic, and, well, often a little silly, but if you listen past the anger, I sincerely believe that the people on the show have something to teach us all." Happily, Toler is neither extreme nor silly in her "how to" book on marriage, and the result is a hands-on, practical guide for couples at every stage of marriage. --Kristen Galles from Book Club Classics