The Perfectionist's Dilemma by clinical psychologist Tara Cousineau compassionately identifies and deconstructs the many struggles and stressors that challenge perfectionists. She presents practical strategies that combat the paradoxical effects of high personal expectations and standards, while untangling feelings of self-criticism and self-doubt.
Cousineau faced her own "wake-up call" with perfectionism shortly after she finished her Ph.D. program. At a summer barbecue with her toddlers, Cousineau, a workaholic, suffered a panic attack that ultimately forced her to evaluate her many years of striving to "make something" of herself. This unsettling event led Cousineau to address emotional and mental blocks.
Rather than trying harder to banish anxious thoughts, Cousineau advises "mak[ing] friends" with sources of anxiety through the practices of self-compassion, mindfulness, acceptance, and kindness. Psychoeducational insights, clinical case studies, and stories of notable figures who cultivated their talents to achieve excellence--including the late basketball player Kobe Bryant--helped Cousineau devise a method to deal with darker forces of perfectionism via a thorough examination of the mind and soul in order to lead a more balanced, fulfilling life.
Cousineau's motivational approach transforms inherent personal qualities into a durable sense of empowerment. Aspects of neuroscience, compassion-based therapy methods, and "basic energy medicine skills"--gentle touching and tapping movements; reminders to help maintain positive focus and realistic expectations--combine to offer game-changing advice and easy-to-implement, conscious behavior modifications. Cousineau's (The Kindness Cure) proven, winning method offers innovative new ways for perfectionists to relate better to themselves and others, while achieving the excellence of their full potential with a lot less stress and a lot more joy. --Kathleen Gerard, blogger at Reading Between the Lines