Robert Gray: How to Handsell Books You Don't Like

What I'm about to reveal is a closely guarded secret among frontline booksellers, and I may have to pay the ultimate price for my indiscreet revelation. Still, as this warm-hearted, blissful time of year wraps us in the simple joys of holiday consumption, I believe a confession is in order.

Booksellers sometimes handsell books we haven't read. We handsell books we don't even like that much. This is not usually a sin of intention. No one wants to handsell a "bad" book. It is, at worst, a sin of omission. What we refrain from saying to a customer during a conversation about a particular title can be more important than what we do say.  

A bookseller's life would be ideal if we could just spend the day recommending titles we absolutely love, but often we are caught in discussions about not-so-great books with customers who love them passionately and would like us to suggest comparable works.

By "not-so-great," I mean books that we've dismissed for any number of objective, subjective, and even irrational reasons. This list can consist of anything, including works that have been well-reviewed, popular or award-winners.

For example, I've handsold dozens of copies of one particular novel (which will remain title-less to protect the innocent) over the past few years. I remember the moment when I first read it and thought, "I'm not crazy about this book, but it's going to be very easy to handsell." I just tell the right customers I believe they will love it, and they do.

Conversely, there are books I love that I couldn't handsell at a 100% discount.

The reasons why we like or dislike books are many, but since a bookseller's job description is to express--or withhold--judgment depending upon the situation, we must occasionally walk a conversational high wire.

Nodding and smiling help; saying "a lot of people liked that one" or "he's very popular" or "it's been getting good reviews" will get you through, too. A personal favorite, which I've leaned on more than a few times, is that a particular author "knows his (or her) audience well and always writes with them in mind."

If you are feeling pressured this holiday season for your opinion on a book you just don't like, may I prescribe a small dose of retail therapy consisting of scenes from two Bill Murray films? These should prepare you to face any impending crisis with a spotless conscience.

In How to Talk About Books You Haven't Read, Pierre Bayard devotes a chapter to the movie Groundhog Day, in which a snarky weatherman, Phil (Murray), is caught in a time-loop on the eponymous day and forced to relive it again and again.

He puts his unfortunate circumstances to good, if unethical, use in his seduction of Rita (Andie MacDowell). When he surreptitously discovers that she studied nineteenth-century Italian poetry, Phil memorizes and then passionately recites excerpts from the libretto of Rigoletto.

"By training himself in Rita's preferred reading material," Bayard writes, "and thus penetrating as deeply as possible into her private world, Phil is straining to create the illusion that their inner books are the same."

Sounds like handselling to me. Not love, precisely, but a subtle illusion that "inner books" can match even when they don't.

And I can go Bayard one Bill Murray movie better by citing the epic American film, Caddyshack, and a scene that eloquently sums up a dilemma booksellers face every day.

Loudmouth contractor Al Czervic (Rodney Dangerfield) bursts into a posh country club's pro shop and starts buying everything in sight. He notices a particularly garish hat on display and says, "This is the worst lookin' hat I ever saw."

Then he sees the club's president, Judge Smails (Ted Knight), standing nearby, wearing the same hat. "Oh, it looks good on you, though," Czervic adds. 

Welcome to the world of handselling, where we often must smile and utter the book equivalent of "Oh, it looks good on you, though."

Mea culpa.

Is that wrong? Absolutely not. In fact, it is a kind of biblio-diplomacy. We want customers to be comfortable with their choices. We don't want them to feel judged. We hope they walk away from a handselling conversation thinking, "That was fun."

Well, to be honest, we want them to walk away with a huge stack of new books, thinking, "That was fun."--Robert Gray (column archives available at Fresh Eyes Now)

 

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