Children's Reviews: Two Terrific 'Terrible' Titles

Two new books put animals in place of what humans usually do, to hilarious effect.

Children Make Terrible Pets by Peter Brown (Little, Brown, $ 16.99, 9780316015486/0316015482, 40 pp., ages 3-6, September)

Any child who's begged for a dog, cat or hamster will appreciate the playful parody in Peter Brown's latest picture book, a complete departure in tone and palette from his The Curious Garden. As Lucille Beatrice Bear is "practicing her twirls," decked out in a pink tutu and a bow between her ears, she notices "the cutest critter in the WHOLE forest," a human boy in jeans, striped tee and tennis shoes. She picks up the fellow, names him Squeaker because of the sounds he makes and takes him home to Mom: "Can I keep him. PLEASE?" Brown depicts the pair having a high old time: Lucille dons a kangaroo costume and tucks in Squeaker as her joey, and next tosses him berries to catch in his mouth (like an animal performing in a circus). The artist frames each pencil illustration, drawn on an eggshell or minty green background, with a wood grain in varying shades of brown. A stellar example of this effect depicts boy and bear napping together on a tree branch that seems to grow out of the picture's frame. But things quickly get worse, as Squeaker ruins the furniture and throws cake at the tea party. To top it all off, he disappears. Brown portrays Lucille's face filling an entire page as she cries, "Squeaker, where are you?!" Lucille follows his scent through a mazelike spread; she suddenly looks so small. Lucille finally finds Squeaker, but realizes that his rightful place may not be with her. With humor and insight, Brown gently introduces for youngest book lovers the concepts of family, love and responsibility.

 

A Pig Parade Is a Terrible Idea by Michael Ian Black, illus. by Kevin Hawkes (S&S, $16.99, 9781416979227/1416979220, 40 pp., ages 4-8, September)

Here, in top comic form, Michael Ian Black warns against the temptation to mount a pig parade. "Like most children, you have probably thought to yourself at one time or another, I bet a pig parade would be a lot of fun." Hawkes makes the perfect match for Black's fantasy run amok. As Black describes the fun of "gathering a few hundred pigs together for a grand parade," Hawkes renders them as Looney Tunes–style characters hoofing it like the Music Man and his minions, complete with fireworks and a porcine float. But on the next page, when the author states, "The only problem is, a pig parade is a terrible idea," Hawkes paints a realistic image of a sow sucking on a corn cob, eyes closed, slobber dripping from its maw. Next, he depicts the porkers on the trail of the parade route's remnants--gum and lollipops stuck to their snouts ("They prefer to snuffle, which is kind of like walking with your nose"). Other reasons a pig parade is a terrible idea: they "absolutely refuse to wear majorette uniforms," they don't care about floats--not "Wilbur the Pig from Charlotte's Web" floats, only "root beer floats, which they love" (Hawkes shows them bellying up to a root beer bar). Hooves-down, the best reason against parading pigs has to be the music they play: "sad, sad, country music ballads with titles like 'My Tears Are Wet 'Cause my Mud's Gone Dry' and 'I Just Wanna Plop into This Bucket of Slop.' " Black and Hawkes take the natural characteristics of pigs and transplant them in a human context for maximum comic effect. If you've never thought of making a boy into a pet or putting a pig in a parade, you certainly won't ever forget those ideas now.--Jennifer M. Brown

 

 

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