Donna Freitas's Her One Regret explores what one of her characters calls "the last taboo of motherhood." At once a rocket-paced crime tale of suspense and a thoughtful examination of cultural dictates about motherhood, this novel of women's lives and relationships excels as both entertainment and a call to difficult but necessary conversations.
In a brief introductory section, readers meet Lucy in the parking lot of a supermarket in Narragansett Beach. On a gorgeous, early fall afternoon, she loads groceries alongside her nine-month-old daughter, Emma. Then begins Part I: "The First 48 Hours." Lucy has vanished; Emma is found, alone, crying, but perfectly fine, in the parking lot. The small Rhode Island community is horrified, united in a search for the missing mother. But then it is revealed that Lucy had recently confided in her best friend, Michelle, that she regretted having Emma. She had fantasized about staging her own disappearance. The community and the nation erupt in harsh judgment. Is Lucy a kidnapping victim, or on the run? Is she a monster? What do we make of a woman who regrets motherhood?
The rest of Freitas's narrative jumps between the lives of four local women. Lucy is seen mostly in memory, or as a symbol. Michelle is devastated by her best friend's disappearance, in love with her own role as mother, but galvanized to defend her friend. Lucy had tried to tell Michelle what she was suffering, but "Michelle did the thing everybody does with mothers: dismiss their feelings as not real. Michelle gaslit Lucy, kept gaslighting her. She hadn't meant to." Diana, a retired detective, is drawn to Lucy's case and its similarities and differences from other vanished women. And then there is Julia, whose baby is the same age as Emma: "Julia keeps waiting for the moment she'll feel bonded to her son, that miracle other women talk about when connection and unbelievable love will flood her person and overcome the dread, the sadness, the resistance. But it never happens." Julia, an artist who can no longer bring herself to create, sees herself in Lucy, shares the fantasy of escape, and now watches as the world on social media condemns her parallel self. Her desperation feels like an emergency no one around her will acknowledge.
Freitas (Consent; The Nine Lives of Rose Napolitano) relates these lives and quiet--or in Lucy's case, suddenly very public--struggles with nuance and compassion. Her One Regret is purposefully thought-provoking and a riveting mystery--a masterpiece of duality, not soon forgotten. --Julia Kastner, blogger at pagesofjulia
Shelf Talker: A young mother confesses regret in this satisfying, dynamic mystery that is also a rousing conversation starter about an experience of motherhood still treated as taboo.