I Want to Die but I Still Want to Eat Tteokbokki: Further Conversations with My Psychiatrist is the sequel to South Korean author Baek Sehee's therapy memoir with a nearly identical title (I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki), in which the author grappled with her rising feelings of anxiety and alienation.
Readers pick up where Baek's first book left off, as she navigates the murky waters of persistent depression, leading her to self-harm and to check herself into a hospital. Her therapy sessions are a window into the process of untangling her thoughts and behaviors. Baek wrestles with self-doubt and societal pressures, and yearns for connections and meaning that feel achingly out of reach: "You know how extreme I am, if I ever meet someone I don't like for some reason, I don't stop at 'What a weird person' but go straight to 'I hate all people!' "
This is not a book with a neatly packaged solution. Therapy here is a winding road paved with introspection and small victories--and her therapist's approach is quite a bit different than what readers outside of Korea might expect. Baek's experience feels distinctly Korean as she highlights the cultural nuances of seeking help and the societal stigmas that can persist.
Baek's memoir is ultimately hopeful. Through chronicling the therapeutic process, her self-awareness increases, and she gains the strength to put into place the building blocks of healing.
This book is a message of solidarity for anyone struggling with experiences like Baek's, and a reminder that even the smallest steps toward self-awareness can be a triumph. --Elizabeth DeNoma, executive editor, DeNoma Literary Services, Seattle, Wash.