Also published on this date: Shelf Awareness for Tuesday, March 26, 2024

Tuesday March 26, 2024: Maximum Shelf: The Days I Loved You Most


Park Row: The Days I Loved You Most (Original) by Amy Neff

Park Row: The Days I Loved You Most (Original) by Amy Neff

Park Row: The Days I Loved You Most (Original) by Amy Neff

Park Row: The Days I Loved You Most (Original) by Amy Neff

The Days I Loved You Most

by Amy Neff

An unforgettable New England love story nestled within a generational family drama, The Days I Loved You Most by Amy Neff will sweep readers away to the picturesque town of Stonybrook on the Long Island Sound, home of the charming Oyster Shell Inn and its retired owners, Joseph and Evelyn Myers. The couple has been together since their teens, but now their lifelong devotion faces a sudden and existential threat neither of them is prepared for. With a devastating opening premise that sets the tone for the rest of the novel, Neff's beautifully crafted debut follows the seasons of one consequential year in the life of Joseph and Evelyn, intertwining the present with narrative flashbacks that track the arc of their romantic union back to the 1940s.

Theirs is an insular family living in a relatively sheltered world, and therein lies the charm of this book. It allows readers to immerse themselves wholly in the Myerses' story, observing the outside world through the emotional prism of their family life. One warm June evening, Joseph and Evelyn gather their adult children--Jane, Thomas, and Violet--together to issue a crushing declaration: Evelyn has a catastrophic health diagnosis that eventually will render her incapacitated. To avoid this terrible fate, she plans to take her own life in June of the following year. Joseph, since he cannot live without her, will do the same.

What follows is an intimate unraveling of fragile family bonds, with Jane frustrated at the extent to which her parents are so "wrapped up in each other, codependent" that "a world where the end of one means the end of both." With startling clarity, Neff portrays Jane's, Thomas's and Violet's reactions to Joseph and Evelyn's plan, as each sibling viscerally retreats to childhood patterns of dysfunction while the reality of their mother's illness forces them back to the present.

To make sense of the couple's shocking decision, Neff goes back to their origin story, delicately coloring in the particular contours of a romance that was initially eclipsed by a monumental tragedy during World War II. Joseph Myers and Evelyn Saunders grew up as next-door neighbors. Evelyn's brother Tommy was best friends with Joseph and the three children were inseparable, spending carefree summer days on nearby Bernard Beach. Evelyn was a free-spirited tomboy rebelling against her emotionally distant mother's efforts to turn her into a young lady. Eager to see the world and pursue a music career, she longed to flee her provincial hometown for the big-city opportunities of Boston. Joseph was the opposite: raised in his family's bed-and-breakfast, the Oyster Shell Inn, he knew he would one day take over the business his great-grandparents started in the 1880s. It was a simple but solid dream, to become the proprietor of the inn and raise his own family there.

The property, with its languid beach setting, plays a critical role as the backdrop to the Myerses' marriage story. It bears witness to the daily push and pull of their relationship, the compromises that shake it to its foundations one fateful summer, and the love that endures despite it all. Like their father and his father before him, the inn is where Jane, Thomas and Violet are born and raised, and it's where Evelyn attempts to settle into a maternal domesticity she never wanted for herself. Joseph is the reason she moved back to Stonybrook from Boston, his faith in their future stronger than hers. Having forsaken a promising career as a concert pianist, there is a nagging feeling that she has left a part of herself behind. So when her diagnosis arrives, Evelyn is determined to fulfill one last grand desire. To make it happen, though, she will need Jane's help.

Jane, however, wants nothing to do with her mother's "final request," dismayed at the self-indulgent roots of her parents' declaration. Evelyn and Jane have survived a difficult patch; flashback scenes describe the shocking scale of Jane's teenage rebellion, which are hard to square with the successful news anchor she has become. Always slightly aloof and distant, Thomas's angry outburst at hearing his parents' plan sets him spinning even further away from them. Violet considers Joseph and Evelyn's decision to end their lives together as impossibly romantic. She struggles with unexplored feelings of discontent toward her perfectly decent husband because of her parents' admirable devotion, "the impossible bar they have set, the one thing I'll never forgive them for."

Neff paints a realistic, complex portrait of an illness that slowly robs Evelyn of agency, leaving her "drunk with fatigue" yet with a heightened sense of her surroundings. She notices Joseph's constancy anew, and the things she took for granted, like "the way we wrapped effortlessly around each other."

As summer fades into fall, world affairs intrude on the Myerses and bring them closer together, with even Thomas drawing into the family unit for strength and support. Meanwhile, as Joseph and Evelyn prepare for their final summer and wrestle with the reality that "there will never be enough time," Neff skillfully maneuvers the narrative to a series of unexpected conclusions. Joyful and cathartic, The Days I Loved You Most is a love story that lingers in the imagination, inspiring a fervent hope that the author will continue the Myers saga into the next generation. --Shahina Piyarali

Park Row, $28.99, hardcover, 336p., 9780778310471, July 30, 2024

Park Row: The Days I Loved You Most (Original) by Amy Neff


Amy Neff: A Couple's Unthinkable Decision

Amy Neff
(photo: Sylvie Rosokoff)

Amy Neff's debut novel is The Days I Loved You Most (Park Row, July 30, 2024), a stunning love story and immersive family drama set in a New England beach town. Neff lives in Connecticut with her husband, two sons, and their rescue dog.

Joseph and Evelyn are genuine, fully developed characters, their marriage a remarkable example of lifelong devotion. Were they inspired by real people?

That means so much to hear, thank you. Joseph and Evelyn are completely works of fiction; their story is not my family story, although their setting is inspired by my family place. That said, I was lucky to have great examples growing up which have informed my definition of love. My grandparents had a beautiful marriage for over 50 years, until we lost my grandfather swiftly and unexpectedly to cancer. The years my grandmother lived without him always struck me as bittersweet, seeing grandchildren marry and snuggling great grandchildren, but not being able to share those happy moments with the one she loved most.

Jane refers to her parents' relationship as "impenetrable, a united front to a fault." What is the cost of this exceptional, almost exclusionary, marital bond for the rest of the family?

Their great love affects each of their three children in different ways. Jane, their oldest, is disillusioned by a damaging relationship in her past, and bristles against the idea that you need another person to be complete. Thomas is extremely private and guards his emotions, prioritizing his career over his marriage. Violet, their youngest, idealizes her parent's relationship as a fairy-tale romance, and the reality of her own marriage always pales in comparison. Their children have always understood that if forced to choose, their parents would choose each other, and that devotion turns into the catalyst for Joseph and Evelyn's unthinkable decision.

Stonybrook is a fictionalized version of the New England beach town where your family summered. Which aspects of your own experiences did you incorporate into the book?

I wanted to explore all that comes with committing not only to another person, but to a place. I grew up spending summers on a shared lot with my extended family. The two cottages were revolving doors of cousins, aunts and uncles, and my summers were filled with sun-soaked beach days and big family dinners with people shouting over each other to be heard. It was the most beautiful chaos and an idyllic childhood. It is a very special place to me, and the sense of calm and belonging I feel along the shore imprinted on me so deeply I wanted to capture those feelings within the pages of this book.

At its core, The Days I Loved You Most is a captivating love story with Joseph and Evelyn as the primary narrators, but it also includes the perspectives of their three adult children. What made you decide to add Jane, Thomas, and Violet?

When I set out to write this novel, it was important to me that it remained first and foremost a love story. Originally, and for many drafts, the only two points of view were Joseph's and Evelyn's. An editor I worked with along the way made the case for hearing from their children, because as much as it is a love story, it is also a family story, and the decisions made between them don't exist in a vacuum. I loved writing those three chapters because they give crucial context and alternate perspectives to explore. I had spent so much time with the family that their voices came easily, as though they had been banging on the door, relieved to finally be let out. I'm so glad they got to speak for themselves.

You mention that The Days I Loved You Most has been a lesson in novel writing. May I ask you to expand on that and share insight into the challenges of breaking into the publishing industry as a debut writer?

I have always been an avid reader, so I had a sense of what worked, and had been writing all my life. But I embarked on this journey blissfully naïve, for the fun and challenge of it, and followed where it led. I learned a lot about structure and pacing as I went, but I think some of the magic for me was the not knowing. I wasn't trying to hit certain beats, or follow a formula. These things can be incredibly helpful, and certainly is more efficient. But the meandering was all discovery and play. When I took the novel as far as I could on my own, I worked with editors that brought out different elements, and I learned so much from each draft. Breaking into the industry was much harder. It took me five years of querying this book to get a literary agent. Each batch of rejections, I revised again. I dug in deeper, uncovering layers to the characters, their motivations and fears, and the book was better for every year spent working on it.

How would you describe your creative process?

I am very disciplined. I like yellow legal pads and notecards and carving out overly ambitious schedules. To revise, I'd break down the weeks or months it would take, and then divide the number of chapters based on that timeframe. For the better half of my writing journey, I was pregnant and/or raising babies and toddlers full time. I don't write every day. It's not possible for this phase of life, at least for me. But I made time where I could, in early mornings, late nights, during the short-lived era of naptime, and in the rare stretches I could steal away thanks to sitters and grandparents. I took my self-imposed writing schedule seriously, long before there was anyone else holding me accountable. I found a way to move forward, even if I only had minutes. And there were stretches when I didn't touch the book at all. There are chapters that I wrote in one sitting, and ones that have been reworked and threaded throughout, and many scenes that were written and cut completely. I wrote far more than what ended up in the final version, and that helped me understand my characters on a far deeper level.

Do you have advice for fledgling authors launching their writing life while navigating the demands of raising a family?

Be patient with yourself. There is such an emphasis on getting published quickly, and getting your book out there fast. Don't buy into this. My journey was 10 years long. I started querying before I had children, and my children are now three and nearly five. It's not a race, and it's okay if it takes longer than you expect. My book is better for the years spent in revisions. Outsource what you can, ask for help. Take your writing seriously. Carve out time, but remember this season with your family is precious and fleeting, too. It's okay to not write every day. Stick with whatever you can commit to. The only one who can write your book is you, but give yourself grace when inevitably someone throws up, or your perfect flow is interrupted by someone needing to be wiped. As long as you keep going, you'll get there. --Shahina Piyarali


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